I have very mixed emotions at the moment. On the one hand, I just want to get out there and get stuck in as I have been waiting the best part of five months to do this. On the other hand, I feel I could do with more time for this troublesome foot injury to heal. Since my last run, a full ten days ago, I have been working hard to keep my fitness up without killing myself in the process. I have been using Big Dave’s Gym more than usual, getting a good workout on the static bike and doing more core work and stretching, albeit at a slightly lower intensity than usual. I had some treatment on the aforementioned foot and while there is some signs of improvement, it still hurts and time is running out. The big unknown is how it will fare once I start running again. Best case is I can run it off and manage – worst case is it gets worse to the point I am unable to continue. On the up side, it has distracted me from other concerns surrounding the event but I will be so annoyed if all this hard work over the last few months ends up being for nothing and I end up with no result and even longer on the side-lines.
To add injury to injury, I also have a sore rash on both thighs as a result of an adverse reaction to some massage cream! Things are not going well, however, I have decided that I am going to run on Sunday and compete as though there is nothing wrong with me and see what happens. I know I am in good shape (apart from my foot) so there is a chance I could do well. If I don’t perform it will be because of this injury and nothing else. In the event I am thwarted in my aims, I have the resolve and determination to come back as soon as I can and am fully fit to give it another go in another race. The weather forecast looks near perfect, the logistical side is in place, there is just the small matter of a long run and no shortage of suffering along the way.
I am also looking forward to a pint of beer. I have abstained from alcohol since March 18th and all being well I will meet my old school chum Dean after the race for a beverage as he now resides in London. There are a load of us all together this year traveling down on the train and staying in the same accommodation which should be nice. The fundraising element has been helpful in keeping my spirits up. It’s great when you see another donation has come in – I really don’t want to let anyone down now I’ve got this backing but hopefully it will act as a positive catalyst. I was interviewed yesterday by the local newspaper and for once I was a bit unsure of what to say. The easy thing is to trot out the usual gubbins about how you’re looking forward to it and are excited and nervous. I couldn’t really say that because I am petrified that my foot is going to let me down and I won’t complete. I think I tried to play down the extent of my anxiety because I didn’t want to look like a moaning Minnie but it hurts just walking over to the photocopier at the moment so how it will feel after 26.2 miles, I shudder to think! Still, I have come this far and won’t back out now. Another worry is if I do have to pull out mid race, I will experience my first ever DNF, miss out on my medal and stuff, but worse still, I am likely to slump into the biggest mardy since I stopped short of the finish line in the Benidorm 10K!
Tomorrow is yoga – that might help me relax more. Work has been very busy too. I have been covering reception this week in addition to my usual duties but being busy has its advantages in so much as it keeps you focussed and that in itself is a valuable distraction in the grand scheme of things. That said, work now affords me a lifestyle where I am able to dedicate myself properly to the demands of training for a marathon in your 40’s. There is no way that if I was stuck in my old job (which I am particularly glad I’m not), that I would be in the right shape both physically and mentally to tackle this race properly. The constant pressure, poisonous management, missed meals and poor work-life balance takes its toll on you as you age.
The newspaper reporter asked me what I had done differently (a sad irony in that statement alone as anyone who has ever worked for Bairstow Eves will know) in this training campaign from ones previously and it really made me think. The main difference is that I am able to plan ahead and train. I can give better attention to my diet and recovery without the constant dashing about trying to fight fires which were the business run properly, would never have started in the first instance. Everything was always done for short-term glory with no consideration for the consequences in the future, either for staff and customer and as a result, you end up making more work for yourself. This corporate inefficiency is soul destroying and to compound matters, you could not speak up about it as you are expected to operate in a North Korean style culture of complete compliance even if what you are complying with is utterly wrong, commercially and ethically. I can’t tell you how glad I am to have escaped and how grateful I am to my friend Neil who made it possible for me to come and work for him. I just wish I had done it sooner! Anyway, I am not sure quite how I came across to the paper, hopefully the article comes across as nice – there are five of us doing a charitable turn. I’ll find out tomorrow I guess when it comes out.